How Not to Eat

Take a look at the nutritional info in a SmashBurger (a chain that has recently opened stores in Houston). One burger has 1010 calories, 62g of fat, 1743mg of sodium! Notice also that a few things are missing from the list–cholesterol, for instance. “Zero” here doesn’t mean it doesn’t have any–only that the report doesn’t list it. And this doesn’t include fries, soda, etc.!

Back in my day of eating really unhealthy stuff, my favorite was the Carl’s Jr. Double Western Bacon Cheeseburger–it has 920 calories, 50g fat (21g saturated), 155mg cholesterol, 1730mg sodium. Or a Double Whopper with cheese at Burger King: 990 calories, 64g fat (24g saturated), 195mg cholesterol, 1520mg sodium.

Oh, and now Burger King offers you a “Pizza Burger“:

Because sometimes you just want it all [your way], the nine-inch burger is topped with pepperoni, mozzarella, Tuscan pesto and marinara sauce and cut into six slices, “so that the snack looks and feels like a pizza,” or so that it can more easily be wedged into your big, fat, gluttonous pie-hole.

The sandwich contains as much beef as four regular Whoppers, tops out at 2,550 calories, 144 grams of fat, 3,780mg of salt – basically, you’re good for the next day on all counts. However, Burger King corporate representatives want to stress that the Pizza Burger was created as “a meal to be shared.” Shared with a small village. However, if the Pizza Burger is your fast food fantasy incarnate, it will cost you a slightly more than the $12.99 suggested retail to make it your own. The sandwich is available exclusively at Burger King’s Whopper Bar in New York’s Times Square.